Of first and many to come

"Funny how i miss your scent, that faint scent of nicotine combined with your polo number three."

I can sense that i am losing my grip again. Fam bam sensed something, they are asking weird stuff.

Im making myself join loads of things in hopes to avoid doing things, but the fear lingers. 

And i am confused with my feelings rn. You are amazing, but you gave me black and blue marks before. I dont know where we are going, and i dont want to make things weird but at the same time i do enjoy the late night texts and random how are yous. 

I dont want to set things when we are both so weirdly matched. Im confused, tell me you are too and what should we do?

Oh well, im still breathing and theres no signs of red lines yet so alhamdulillah.

For everyone in my life, for every love kindness and advice i recieved.

Xoxo, Q.