results :)

alhamdulillah, result SPM kuar kelmarin. and yeah, cikgu kata 'tahniah aqilah. keputusan anda cemerlang'.
NOT 9A's though. but everyone was so happy for me.
esp ibu and dadda. :) cikgu sume tak payah cakap lah kan. dorang sume dok risau KP ni boleh score ke bila tukar kelas 10 bulan before SPM.
alhamdulillah, berkat doa dan usaha family, cikgu and diri berjaya jugak lah saya dapat result yg okay. *bhaha, #ayat tak boleh blah #ayat typical dalam majalah skolah hahahaXD*

puan Haslina literally pulled me into a hug! okay yeah i know. kat skola, i am kind of a hug craze gal but bila ngan cikgu, mana boleh sume bantai peluk. esp cikgu disiplin, haha. nak mati?? :D but yeah, i pergi meja dia. she smiled and asked how was my result. told her, she beamed and pulled me into a hug.
okay, tipulah kalau qila cakap qila tak terkejut kaan. i mean, yeah i was a head pref but i wasnt that close to her. so, bila dia peluk tu macam... WOW! hahaha, terharu pun ada.:D

then puan bibi. SHE WAS AWESOME AS ALWAYS. she looked so proud of me :')
ofcourse cikgu cikgu lain jugak. love them loads!

but honestly, that day, i was so sad. imean, results mmg lah gempak, kata cikgu, tapi. for me... qila rasa tak cukup.
i've typed this in twitter but im typin it again here.

31 of december 2011 i made up my mind. i told my form four teacher that i want to jump class. she knows me. she knows that my heart was never in science or maths. so she gave me her full support when i told her my decision.
first day of school i masuk kelas anggerik, but then half of the day tu i was basically running round school lookin for teachers. dah jumpa semua cikgu form five kekwa, finally pn aliza hantar g jumpa puan chu. dah kena basuh ngan puan chu dia hantar pulak g jumpa pengetua. hambik kau, kp kena hantar g jumpa pengetua first day of skola. failll. :p
but then bila dah heart to heart talk ngan puan nazipah, dia bagi kebenaran utk tukar. so on the second day, i masuk kelas 5kekwa.
:)

anyway, my point was. bila qila masuk kelas 5kekwa, qila kena lepaskan segalanya. i had to give up everything that made me... me. i gave up playin guitar, i gave up writing, i gave up blogging. not to mention i had to leave my anggerik friends. soaking the fact that lepas ni, kita tak boleh gaduh tang bio or physics dah.
it was hard.

so yeah, bila i tukar kelas, i risked e v e r y t h i n g . i kena study topik form four, study topik form five and everything lah. Oh yeah, then tang my PKP. pas kem setan, i lost my backbone. no more bestfriend.. so yeah, Mmg perit ahh. jujur. But what keep pushing me was ofcourse the situations with my family and the fact that i realised that i have lost so much. i have lost so much just so i could be in this 5kekwa so i really really need to ace the SPM crap.

so bila dapat result hari tu, lega and bersyukur sangat tapi i cant help but to feel tad bit of disappointment.
after what i've gone through, qila dok terfikir..  kenapa aku ni careless sangat sampai tak boleh penuhkan slip keputusan dengan straight a.
yeah, i was so heartbroken.

everyone was so proud of me. dorang kata 'qila boleh cover topik form4 and form5 in just one year, awesome gilaa"  i tried to be happy, but i dont know. i still rasa sedih and kecewa kat diri sendiri. qila tak marah kat orang lain, or tak puas hati ngan rezeki yang Allah dah bagi, qila just kecewa dgn diri qila sendiri. masa qila hilang PKP dulu, i set the bar high and worked my arse off to get it. i believed that i have done my best, but i cant help but to be pissed off at my own carelessness. :)
korang maybe tak faham, and its okay. i just need to let this out :)

However, i think im better now. im happy with my results and bila terbayang balik muka cikgu2 semua.. tersenyum mmg panjang lebar laah diri ini :D

bila teringat suara suara yang call and wish congrats, mmg tersenggeh sampai sakit pipi lah.
:D

alhamdulillah, result okay. now just hope boleh dapat masuk UIA je sekarang :)
Doakan saya yeahhh :)