merungut je kerja. :p

this entry is pointless. dunno what im crapping about. 

you can skip this one. 

parting ways was never really my thing. just like unsaid farewells, i hate goodbyes.

but sometimes, things were unavoidable. we find the urge to let go and be free even though we knew damn well that what we do will only bring sorrow and pain, that was what i did. 

i let go and gave up. some might said she's a loser and crap but i never bother about it. honestly i am a person who like taking chances. i'll crack up and ask things even though i know that the thing is completely stupid. for example asking a hot guy a question like "dude, are you gay?" and "yo man. damn im bored. be my boyfriend ?"  

i also have done things which i regretted. i let go easily. thats who i am. i let go things too easily. i watched real steal few weeks back and in one of the scene was when the kid were suppose to go to his aunt and leave his dad.. he remained silent and when his dad ask him to say something, the sentence that came out from his mouth was "i want you to fight for me!" 

or something like that. that part hit me bang in the gut. :) maybe i never fight. maybe i did but i never really sit and fight for what i wanted but what if the only person who's fighting was me and only me?  was it really me to blame? cant tell. 

so then we departed. we went our separate ways. each day we get more and more restricted. we get more tense with each other. our conversation got shorter and shorter each day. text never got in anymore and the only words left to be spoken to each day was hello and goodbyes. 

i cant see us. crap, who am i kidding. i am no alice cullen but honestly, i cant see us in the future. all im seeing was us being complete stranger. a part of me said "bang it, you;re used to it. " cant disagree more. i am me. i leave and restart things new all the time. i switch places and homes and schools every two year. i move to new cities each two year. changes are something i am suppose to be used to. but bang it i cant get that fact round up securely around my head when it involve you. too many people are leaving me. not me leaving them. i am used to leaving people. but not people leaving me. get it? i can walk away from peeps but i cant take it when peeps walk away from me. yes, its a very selfish act but that is the way i was thought. i leave people all the time. not many people get to leave me cause each time they tried, i always end up leaving them first.  i understand that you are busy. all of you are busy and i am scared to disturb you lot but blehh.. im fooling myself. 

sorry to waste your time. a new oneshot comin up aite. 

take care dear readers. lurve!