ehem. :p

either mad or sad

i cant decide.

cause right now i think i am on both side.

home? what is it about home that will always make people happy?
the family? the house?
i cant find that thing anymore.
whats so great about staying in this four walls which then in everything we do will bring bad luck?

see? told you so.
nobody supports me anymore.
you said im bad.
and cant hold on even for three days.
but what about you?
i've become weak for only three days and you told me to die already?
to just quit and dai?

who's weak now?
why cant people just give me some time?
to gather up everything and fight back?
to have one day of rest and let me breathe to continue doing what im suppose to do?

why cant you just bear with me for one week.
bear with my screaming of pain, whine of tiredness and other crap?

it has only been three days and you told me that you wont support me already?
what do you think i am?some strong uber awesome lifeless fighting machine?

do i talk too much?
would you rather me being all shut up and dont even look at you?
oh crap, i cant do that cause than you would start accusing me trying to being all rebel thingey.
i would love to lock myself in my room all day and night but then you would start calling the fire department or even worse, knock the door down yourself.

give me a break.
all of you. just because i never cried infront of you lot it doesnt mean im not affected by something else or i am a lifeless and emotionless robot.
besides, how can i cry to you guys when everytime i come close to letting me tears fall you would give me an eternity of lecturing.

how can i be strong when you guys arent letting me being weak even for three days?
i am utterly disappointed in you.
you lot were suppose to be on my side, supporting me through thick and thin.
not only through the thick.

D':

ps: hope you are happy on what you have done to me. tough on the outside but weak as some lame weak crap on the inside. i really hope you are happy with that.

dan dia berkata:  "a'ah..kau memang. hampeh jaeh"