to you.

This is for you.

yes, she is cute..

but not as cute and beatiful as you.

yes, she is bubbly and outgoing,

but not bubbly and outgoing as you..

plus, she's not caring,

 just like you always do.

kak,just so you know. i never treat anyone else more than just an acquaintance. sure, she is his choice for now but for me. you will always be my number one. i could never wish for anyone else except you. i hope, even when things werent like what it used to be, both of us could always be together. aside from yunni, you're the only sister that i truly care about.  screw kimmy, yanie or even wannie.

i heart you and only you.

we rarely talk to each other nowdays and every time i heard you're coming back to malaysia, i cant help but to jump from joy. i would scream my heart out and practically jump on my bed due to the excitement and really cant wait to see you. it broke my heart to hear that we cant meet up the other day. i was looking forward to meeting you real bad. i wanted to talk bout everything with you. about big bang, about that new kid i'm having crush on and of course about EVERYTHING else. but what can i do, i guess time wasnt really on our side. my side. 

i wonder how are you. does it hurt everytine you talk to me? do i remind you of him? do you cry everytime you think about him, me and us? and sometimes, i think that the word i miss you is not good enough for me to let you know how much  my heart ache for your presence as my sis.

yeah, i know this sounded super cheesy but its true. reading your stats sometimes make me wonder. is that him you're thinking of? do you hate him? what about me?

sometimes, i saw "his" name on your stats too. i cant help but to wince everytime reading it.but if you really have move on and be with "him" i am truly happy for you. but then my heart changed its mind and starts to wonder again. will you forget bout me then? you have no idea how glad i was when i read your post on my wall. i guess you didint forget me after all..but will it stays the same next week? how bout next month or year?

I'M  S C A R E D  OF LOSING YOU.

you know, i keep that last movie ticket that we watched together. remember 'little big soldier.' that we watched at alamanda? yeah that one. i paste it on my mirror you know.( 16.02.2010, seat E14 and E13, time:3.00 pm.) hee~

and oh! remember that twilight note book set you bought for me on 19.11.2009? i didint write a single thing inside cause i wanna it to be special. with only your hand writing inside. trust me, i hate twilight now. haahaa~

i miss your smile, i miss your laughter, i miss the way your eyes would always light up everytime you smile or laugh and most of all, i miss you. more than words could describe. i only hope the best for you kak and nothing else. if you find it hurtful to hear or see me, its fine. just say the words and i'll stay away. i wont disturb you at all. i dont want you to hurt cause of me. thats all.
i dunno why am i writing this. maybe because i miss you too much or perhaps because of that mood swings. hee but i'm quite certain that my reason would be number one. are you crying kak? i hate to admit this but uhh...yeah, my vision is kinda cloudy now. huu. are you even reading this? its okay if you dont. i just think i should post it up somewhere you know.

ohh well, i gotta go. tomorrow is the big day! i'm scared..heehe..but its cool. i'll manage to survive....i hope. haha...
bye! XOXO.
muahh!